The Queen Has No Cocoa

Jan - 25 2015 | no comments | By

More Details

[Blaze]  I’ve heard this story more than once, and this version is both lacking in details, and and (slightly) contradictory to the versions I’ve heard before.   Below is the version I heard (as best as I can remember).

Joe and Jack were part of the American 5th Army, which was attached to the British 8th Army in Italy.  They were part of a convoy heading north through an area that was very open and visible to air patrols. They were driving along, when the convoy suddenly stopped.  The Americans were at the rear, so didn’t know why the convoy has stopped.  Questions went forward, and the answer came back: “It’s tea time”.   Since the Americans couldn’t move until the Brits did, they were stuck.

Joe and Jack didn’t have tea, but they did have cocoa–part of the K-rations[1] for US GIs,  Dad had build a small gas burner (he was a tinkerer), and so they decided to make some hot cocoa.

As Joe and Jack were heating up their hot cocoa, a British soldier wandered by and asked “What is that I smell?”

Joe replied “Cocoa.”

“Cocoa?  Why… The Queen has no cocoa!”[2]

To which Jack (being who he was) replied… “Fuck the Queen.”  And then all hell broke lose.

Dad (jokingly) said that one of the biggest battles in Italy took place between the American 5th and the British 8th, over a cup of cocoa.


[1] I may be wrong on the rations.  I think that the GIs in Italy got K-rations.  I know that they had cocoa.  If I have wrong rations, please let me know; I’ll make the correction.

[2] Most likely meaning “British soldiers don’t have cocoa in their rations”.  I’d guess that if Queen Elizabeth II wanted a cup of cocoa, she’d get it.

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